So I had my party on Friday night. It was the last day of Summer.

 It started that Genna, James and Tim came to my house, then James and Tim, being the over 18ers went and bought more alcohol. I got a bottle of vodka and a four pack of Smirnoff Double Blacks. We started drinking Genna's Cowboys and sat on my front lawn waiting for Laura, Yanis, Amber, Troy, Mj and Kennet, who were all coming in two cars. Kennet, Troy and Mj came first . I jumped up and hugged Kennet, being slightly tipsy alread and not having expected him. He responded with his usuall stiffness.

Earlier in the day, I had gone up to Subway, were he works, to invite him. He's Troy's brother. Since I had walked up into the main part of my small country town in a black dress, striped tights and black knee-hi boots, I got many stares from various residents. But who gives a shit. Anyway, I walked into Subway and asked for him at the counter. Conversation ensued:
"Hey Kennet. Come to my party."
"When?"
"Tonight."
"Ok."
"That was easy. K I'm going, bye Kennet!"
"Seeya."
Kennet's kind of a weird introvert kid who plays internet games and listens to rap all day, but he's pretty nice, and he can be funny. 

So anyway, they came, followed not too long after by Laura, Yanis, Amber and a guy called Danni who eveyone called Satan. I was highly entertained by this, as one day me and MJ had met Danni at the plaza and hung out, and we'd never thought we'd see him again. All night I kept saying to him, 'Dannii! DANNIII!! You're at my house! Hahahaha!'
Laura, Yanis and Danii are all super goth kids who are a little intimidating but actually really nice. All I can remember of them from the night, though, is poeple leading Yanis around by the dog leash attached to his collar and me repededly remindind Laura and Danni that they were in my house.

The bottle of vodka I had purchased seemed to be dissapearing quickly, so at some point when it had about a quarter left, I said, "Right! No one is geting anymore of my fucking vodka!" and proceeded to drink the rest, streight from the bottle.  I can vaugely remeber drink one of my Double Blacks, but I don't know what happened to the rest. 

My memory from then on is a little hazy. I can remeber a series of events, but not in any sort of order.

I remember for some reason we went to Woolworths, and I aquired one of those sparkly hats you can get there and ran around the ailes with it. When we went to the checkout, I decided I wanted it and that they wouldn't notice if I just wore it out. Amazingly, the checkout chick either didn't notice or just didn't want to deal with me, so unless she charged Kennet, and I don't think she did, I stole it. 

After that we went to Subway again. My friend Krysten served us, and I demanded multiple times that she come back to my house to get drunk. She told me she couldn't, she was working, and I said something like, " Yeah you can. Just walk out, as if they'll notice. Look, that's how I stole this hat, see?"  
Then I demanded cookies from her, then Kennet, which I got. I only know most of that from talking to her today, I can't actually remember. 

I think after that we was in the park, and the dog was with us, and she rolled it something and stank and everyone kept complaining. 

Later we were back home, and there's a couple of hours were I can remember very little. I'm told I threw a bottle at the wall. I can sort of remember picking up the glass, and I have cuts on my fingers. I'm also told I was flirting with Danni. He is pretty cute, but Amber got pissy because she likes him. Whatever, I don't care.

Tim and James's friend Matt turned up sometime during the night, and him and Amber ended up making out. In the morning, it looked like someone had punched him in the neck, and everyone told him so. 

At one point, Kennet was sitting on the couch and I was kneeling in front of him, trying to get him to do something or trying to poke him or something, and he was restraining me by holding my hands. I noticed his hands were shaking in mine, and I told him so. He denied it and tried to prove it by holding them up and showing me. This only proved that they were indeed shaking slightly. I think I rambled on a bit about how sometimes I did that, and we should both probably see a doctor. I stopped trying to annoy him but our hands didn't let go of each other. 
It was soon decided by someone that we should go to the park again. So MJ, James, Tim, Genna and me and Kennet, connected by the hands, stumbled off in that direction.
Suddenly I was on the swing, and telling Kennet to push me higher and higher. I told him about when I was a little kid, I used to close my eyes and pretend that when I was on the swing, it was suspended between two skyscrapers, and that I couldn't jump off or I'd die and I might hit someone underneith. I'd pretend I could hear birds, and car horns beeping from far away, and people yelling, and that I could smell the sea, because I grew up near Sydney in Maroubra, near alot of beaches. 

Then we were back home. Someone, I think it was MJ or Kennet, told me they found my wallet and were showing people my student IDs, and that they put them somewhere safe. I couldn't find them the next day, but today I asked MJ and she said they're under my microwave. I haven't checked yet. I shall do so now.
...
Found 'em. Awful, awful photos.

I called my brother, Dustin, and I don't remember the conversation except for, "I'm reaally drunk just now, Ducky."
... 
Him: "It's 9:10, I have to go to work in a minute"
....
"Bye bye, Ducky, I love you."
"I love you too."
I asked him about it yesterday, and he says he doesn't remember either, as he was just as drunk as I was.

More stuff happened that I can't remember. I threw up in the garden.

Later I was sitting of the arm of the chair that Kennet was sitting on. We were still holding hands. I was very tired and kept resting my head on his shoulder and falling asleep, only to be woken up by some loud person. Kennet kept telling me to go to bed, and I kept refusing and saying I wasn't tired, like I always did when I was younger. Eventually he convinced me, but only with the deal that he'd come with me and stay untill I fell asleep.
We walked into my room, and just stood there for a minute. It was... one of THOSE moments, you know? I wanted to kiss him, but, drunk as I was, I could remember throwing up in my garden an hour or two before, and was paranoid about having vomit breath. So instead I hugged him, for a long time, and It wasn't like when I'd hugged him after he'd just gotten here. He hugged me back, hard. 
We crawled onto my bed and I lay down. He sat next to me and I told him to lay down too, but he said he didn't  want to fall asleep because he had to go home. I argued with him a bit, and he finally succumed. He lay against me and I put my arms around him. We chatted a bit, something to do with strangulation and vampires, I was telling him about the Vampire Chronicals by Anne Rice, and about other stuff I read. Soon we just lay there, and sometimes he'd ask if I was asleep yet, and I'd whisper, 'No, so you can't leave." and  hold him tighter. Eventually I got to tired to answer him, and he thought I was asleep. He lay still for a few minutes more, then disentangled himself from me, very slowly so as not to wake me. He left quietly. I lay awake thikking for a while, then fell asleep.

So that was my night.. My morning was far worse.  I shall right another entry later tonight, perhaps.     




 

Current Location: Beanbag
Current Music: Ludwig Van Beethoven, Taking Back Sunday

So..... my first livejournal entry.
What shall I write about? I contemplate this as I sit on my pooh bear beanbag with my senior jersey and no pants on.
Today is my day off from school, hallelujah. I was supposed to go to Brisbane and my auntie was going to take me to get contact lenses,  but that's now on saturday. My uncle Ben  asked if I could come tomorrow afternoon, but I told him I was having people over.  He was very much amused, and mocked me in his fine British accent.
'Having some people over, are you? For champagne and orderves? Do you have a valet or are they arriving on horseback? Tell Jeremy and Sebastian hello, dreadfully sorry I couldn't come.'
Or something to that effect. 

Little does he know, it's actually me and about 14 of my friends seeing how much we can drink before I have to leave for the train at 7:30 the next morning. I just hope I don't arrive to my uncle and auntie's too hungover or still drunk.
This party was decided by my best friend Genna. I found this ironic as only a few days before she was telling me she was worried about my drinking habit.
She told me this over msn, and she picked a bad time as I straight away burst into tears. I had been having the most atrocious week; I'd had massive lows and hyperactive highs, punctuated with occasional sadistic  bitchiness. Everyone else seemed to be either screaming at me or at people around me, everyone seemed to be fighting. I got back into old self-destructive habits, took too many painkillers and got sick. I felt like a bi-polar like my brother, whom I could never seem to reach for support. I don't blame him, though. He has a busy work schedual and when he's not working he's sleeping, since he works so much.

[[to be continued, there are people in my house feeding my dog shapes]] 

Grr, i just typed heaps more then deleted it by accident.
Anyway, I have the house to myself now. The people who were here were my friends who were supposed to be at school. They never seem to go anymore.
I got a call from my brother just before. He's rented an apartment in the city, which makes it a little easier to visit him, and is also convenient if I ever get stuck in the city when there are no more trains.
My dad is coming home tonight. I don't really feel like talking to him. I get sick of his presence, so I'm glad he stays in Brisbane alot to be closer to work. It's probably not healthy for a 16 year old to spend so much time at home alone with no parental guidance, but I'm very used to it by now. I've been looking after myself since I was 13. I eat better ad keep the house cleaner when I'm on my own, but I usually end up drinking more because I can get away with it. Not that I can't even when he is here. Sometimes he even buys it for me. I wonder if he even suspects how much I drink. I wonder if he even cares.

I've just painted my nails with red and white hearts and crosses. It reminds me of those naughty nurse outfits you can get.  If I go to school tomorrow I will have to spend the day hiding my nails behind my back and being paranoid. 

I'm watching Friends atm. Monica has an eye patch on for some reason. It reminds me of the time I had conjunctivitis and wore an eye patch just so I could look like a pirate.

Current Mood: tired